


helping and healing

by pricc



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Honestly I Love My Spiders, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad and Sweet, Self-Hatred, Trans Character, can you tell I'm noir trash yet, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-10-31 21:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17857337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pricc/pseuds/pricc
Summary: five times noir helps the spider gang, and the one time he tries, but ends up receiving the help himself.





	1. Peni

**Author's Note:**

> haha god help I'm falling into a noir addiction hole and the only thing keeping me alive is gwenpool because honestly stan I have to post something of her soon
> 
> starting with the b team because love them
> 
> also expect lots of headcanons
> 
> like a lot
> 
> For example: (first chapter) noir can sing v good and play lots of instruments including guitar, piano and mayonnaise
> 
> first chapter song: [Man in Black](https://youtu.be/dY8_vZXo8oY)

Sometimes, no matter how wonderful and intelligent Peni Parker was, life was always an asshole to her.

This particular time was no different. She was getting ready for a test in her History class. Usually, she didn't mind these. They were quite easy and a complete breeze. This time, however, had the test on the 2500s. Of course, she studied a lot for it, but the 2500s were pretty boring. Sure, lots of breakthroughs at the time and wonderful achievements, but in her time, those were basically historic and very old techniques.

Last test was to attempt to reconstruct one of the first versions of a hoverboard, one she passed with ease, along with most of the students. But the first hoverboard was an interesting topic. Jumping boots and trips to other planets were not.

She had been pacing the room a lot, and Miles complained jokingly that she was leaving footprints on his dorm ceiling. He actually wasn't wrong, but she cleaned them up hastily before anyone could see. She would pace outside, but it was raining.

After she met that Miguel character and they made a way to traverse the multiverse easily, everything seemed more stressful. She had no idea why, but she felt as if she was going to break.

Eventually, Peni sighed and sat on the ground after cleaning up her tracks. Her spider sat in her hair, snoozing away. The SP//dr mech was still undergoing updates and repairs, since she wanted to make sure it never broke again.

A noise from the shadows made her flinch, but it was just Noir. Noir seemed to always blend in with the shadows and get lost. But he understood Peni, which was all she really wanted.

"Hey kiddo," he said, sitting down next to her. "What's wrong? You've been cleaning footprints since Friday." She turned pink. "Nothing, just a test." Amused, Noir chuckled, "Didn't you show us your last test score of a hoverboard model with a nice 100 on it?"

"This one's about the 2500s. Super boring."

He smiled. "Seems you've got some bad nerves. What usually calms you down?" Peni thought for a while. "Usually, I listen to music, or go take a walk." Looking outside, a walk didn't seem like a good idea.

Noir grabbed a black case that Peni found herself staring at a lot during her pacing. She wondered all the time what was in it, but wasn't rude enough to see. He opened it, and to her amazement, it held a guitar. "You play guitar?"

"I play a lot of things, kiddo. Not much else to do."

He plucked the strings, tuning it correctly and seeing it was fit to play. When it seemed to be good, Noir said, "Miles showed me how YouTube works. Lots of good songs, but I like the ones from the 1950s. This one's my favorite. I've been practicing it for a while now."

Peni slowly pressed a button on her wristband, mumbling silently, "Record."

The soft tones of the guitar were utterly calming. "Well, you wonder why I always dress in black, why you never see bright colors on my back." Peni smirked silently. Of course. "And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone? Well there's a reason for the things that I have on."

Peni weaved her head with the rhythm, grinning at Noir, urging him to continue.

"I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town. I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime, but is there because he's a victim of the times."

She suddenly realized Noir didn't like this song only because it sounded good. He sympathized with it. It reminded him of his universe. This made her a bit more sad, but that was soon uplifted by Noir's voice.

"I wear the black for those who never read, or listened to the words that Jesus said. About the road to happiness through love and charity, why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

"Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose, in our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes. But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back, up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

"I wear it for the sick and lonely old, for the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold. I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been, each week we lose a hundred fine young men."

These parts of the song were relatively soft, lulling and calm, yet still emotional. These next parts, however, almost startled Peni. He said these a bit louder, with a bit more emotion. She knew that the original song was like that too, but this was raw and somewhat broken.

"And, I wear it for the thousands who have died, believen' that the Lord was on their side. I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died, believen' that we all were on their side.

"Well, there's things that never will be right I know, and things need changin' everywhere you go. But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right, you'll never see me wear a suit of white.

"Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day, and tell the world that everything's okay. But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back, 'till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black."

The guitar stopped, and Peni clicked on her watch to stop recording. She gaped at Noir, who had his mask halfway up. "Too much?" he guessed.

Quickly, she replied, "No, no, not at all! I just never knew you could sing so good, and that was amazing! The song was really good!" Noir smiled as he put the guitar back. "Good luck on your test, kiddo."

* * *

A few days later, Peni received full marks on her test and the only person to get a perfect grade. Sometimes, when she's stressed, she plays the sound clip again.

 


	2. Ham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ham needs aesthetic pictures for one of his colleagues, and Noir is more than wiling to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hc that noir has billions of aesthetic pictures but they all were in black and white bc u know

It wasn't too hard to notice the pig moping about the place.

Ham was a very bubbly pig, which one could expect from a cartoon. The entire spider gang noticed his mood change instantly. One time they were chilling out playing "Big Boom Sisters," which Peter B refused to play due to it being "a horrible remake of Super Smash Bros," Miles addressed to the sullen swine. "Yo, Ham, what's going on?"

Ham sighed dejectedly, ears flopping in a comedic fashion. "My coworker Greg is getting married, and he asked for pictures to put on the invitation card. The theme is black and white, and since Noir never lets us go to his world, and there's so much color in ours, I have no idea what to do."

"Greg?" Gwen questioned. "What animal is he?"

"Giraffe," Ham sighed again, "and I still don't know how he got with Danielle, who by the way, is a  _dog._ "

"Is same animal marriage allowed in your world?" Peni questioned, making Peter B insist the kids be quiet. Noir, however, thought carefully. He didn't want them going to his world. It was a disgusting and broken place, no place for these wonderfully bright people.

"I could just get you some photos," Noir suggested, "and you can pick the ones you like." Ham nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks, Noir." And thus, Noir took his wristband for interdimensional travel and went to his world.

* * *

Noir sighed at the black and white world now in front of him. Sure, it was home, he loved it. But it just wasn't the same as the colors.

He went into his apartment and looked at his many photos. He didn't want to bring all of them, so he set aside the best ones to take back to the colorful world. A tree with no leaves, a flower bouquet. The bottom parts of a dress, two hands interlaced.

He squinted at a few photos of birds, which were his favorite animal. He grabbed an eagle, a sparrow and a finch. He then went to put all the pictures back. That's when he noticed it.

Noir picked up a strange bird photo, squinting once again. Then eyes widening when he realized it was a vulture. "Damn sick animal," he said aloud, almost startling himself. He tore up the picture into pieces, and for good measure, stepped on the pieces and threw them into the street.

Nasty fucking animal, he thought.

His heart grew heavy.

* * *

"Noir, these are really good photos!"

The team was huddled in a circle, exchanging photos and smiling in delight. They praised his photography skills as Ham picked the ones he liked. Noir felt his heart swell with pride as the finch and sparrow were put in the pile.

Peter B turned to Noir, holding up a photo. "What's this? Kind of blurry." Noir looked at the dark photo, and noticed a shadow he recognized. A vulture. Of course there was another one. He grabbed the photo from Peter B and ripped it up, tossing it out the window again.

"It's nothing."

Peter B stared at him with a worried expression, then turned as Miles tried to show him the eagle.

It was nothing.

 

 


	3. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen has a dance recital. Guess who has free time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be Miles, but I didn't have any ideas. If you have any, comment them down below! 
> 
> This story takes place in june for the sake of the final chapter 
> 
> hc that noir is like a big old uncle to miles and gwen
> 
> ps George Stacy is a cool dude™ and a good man™, super glad gwen as him. hc he will do anything to make it to her dance recitals and tours
> 
> pps. the final chapter will have an lgbtq+ theme sort of
> 
> ppps, if your name is roseanne you might not like this chapter
> 
> and roseanne and julie are not from the comics just made em up

Noir was glad he decided to stay with the group for two weeks. At first, he wasn't sure about leaving the flea-bitten, criminal world he called home, but Peni reassured him that he could return with the fancy goober thing a few minutes after he left. A few minutes wasn't the best, but honestly, what else did he have to lose?

Now, as the spider gang bonded over arguing about the game Uno that Peter B brought from his world (Miles muttered something about it being an off-brand Dos), Noir couldn't have been happier.

Happy was a strong word for Noir. He usually never had felt it, and when he told them that he loved them before leaving, he had a brief moment of happiness. Then it was replaced with the common feeling of sadness, the one he knew all too well.

As Ham dominated in the game, Gwen tossed down a red five and randomly put out, "Anyone free for tomorrow?"

Miles obviously wasn't, due to being the Spider-man of this world. Peter B said he wanted to check in on his world, but if he was needed he could always wait. Peni was also going to her world to check on SP//dr, but could also cancel for later. Ham slapped down a draw four, making Miles groan, and said he was free. Noir had nothing else to do.

"Well," Gwen stated, "I don't want to intrude on your time, so you're fine, and I sure as hell am not bringing Ham." Ham snorted indignantly. "Noir, you can come! You might look a little shifty, but it's New York."

Noir smiled, which he was still getting used to, but then seemed confused. "Do you... not have anyone else to bring?"

Gwen grunted, "My dad's a cop," ignoring everyone's stiff reactions, "and even though he tries to make it to all of them, they won't let him take the day off. Says he needs to stop calling out for me and start actually working, which is bullshit."

"Language," Ham said.

"Hypocrite. Anyways, he can't come, so you guys can. I didn't want to bring any of you on days he did come, because kind of weird, but yeah."

Noir was incredibly glad Gwen had a loving father who would cancel his work for her. He wondered if he knew she was a Spider. Still, it was good to know someone was looking out for her, since she didn't have an Aunt May.

The next day, which was a Sunday, Noir and Gwen went to Earth 65. Beforehand, Noir questioned how the goober allowed time to work like that. Peni went into a lengthy, confusing series of explanations of how they could get there without jinxing the timelines, which Noir understood none of.

Her Earth was just as beautiful as the others, but the colors all seemed to mix and blend, matching perfectly with one another. It was in stark contrast to his own, with the sharp edges and bold lines. They swung down the street to a school, and went to what he assumed was the theater.

Nobody was there, which was due to them being early. She said she was going to change out, and that he could take a seat in the auditorium. Before leaving, she turned and said, "If some tall girl with black hair to her shoulders and pale skin comes around, ignore her loud bitching. She's Roseanne and she's a little shit." He told her not to curse so much, then went to the auditorium. 

It was pretty plain, as he assumed most auditoriums were, with beige walls and navy blue folding seats. There was a spotlight or two in some hidden balcony, and people were starting to pour in.

They stared for a little at the dark figure dressed as a Spider-Man in the back, basking in shadows, then hurried to their seats. He noticed a few girls in black tights and black ballet slippers, just like Gwen's cyan ones. He liked the color cyan, it was one of those special colors that you heard less of. It also reminded him of that one drug, but he pushed that aside.

The group of girls walked by him, snickering and giggling. One tall girl with straight, jet black hair and almost white skin chuckled, "I don't see Old Man Stacy anywhere, maybe he really did get tired of Gwen." Suddenly, Noir had an urge to punch this girl in the teeth, but restrained, body very tense.

They went up to the stage, and he could see three cyan assembled dancers in contrast to the other black ones. Gwen was in the middle. Of course, he smiled to himself.

As the performance started, he noticed the girl -- Roseanne, if he recalled correctly, start to shuffle her way to the front. The darker ensemble looked confused and uneasy. Then, right in front of everyone, she nonchalantly  _shoved_ Gwen to the side, stealing the spotlight for a second.

Apparently, and thank God for whoever was up there, Noir thought, the people controlling the spotlights weren't having Roseanne's bullshit. They simply moved the lights back to the cyan group, earning a scowl from the girl.

After the wonderful performance,  Noir went to the back of the stage after five minutes, because about half of the dancers had come out. He pushed aside the curtain, and saw a group of black mixing with different skin colors, and two blotches of cyan. It was Gwen and another girl in the center arguing with Roseanne.

"That wasn't the correct choreography, Roseanne, and you know it! You're just so greedy for the spotlight that you just had to push me!" The other girl, with red hair and her green eyes shimmering with fear, mumbled, "Gwen, it's over, leave it alone."

Gwen didn't take her ice blue eyes off Roseanne for a second. "No thanks Julie, I want to finally confront this jerk."

Roseanne just sighed, and said, "You didn't need the spotlight, since it doesn't look like your dad cares anymore."

It was instant pandemonium, the entire group gasping and Julie's mouth hanging open. Gwen had this look on her face that filled Noir with the ever so familiar sense of fear. She rushed towards Roseanne with a fist in her hand, ready to punch, but the fist landed on the back of someone who hadn't been there a second ago.

"Noir, what the hell are you doing!?" She was too angry to use a code name, not like it mattered anyways. Roseanne smirked, lamenting, "This Spider-Dude has come to save me from your wrath."

However, Noir grabbed the girl by the arm, and she tried to writhe her way out of the iron grip. "Leave me alone!" she cried out.

"Not until you apologize."

"Why would I? It's true!"

Noir's vision turned red -- or gray, same thing -- as he said in a dangerously low voice, "You apologize or you get to go home with  _a broken neck._ " She fearfully choked out an apology, and was made to promise never to harass Gwen again.

The two made their way out in an uncomfortable silence. He noticed earlier how Gwen seemed to have a fear in her eyes -- a fear of him. In hopes not to scare her more, he didn't look at her at all.

Gwen found an alleyway for them to teleport back to, and before she did, she forced Noir to look her in the eye. "Thank you."

"Thank you?" He was bewildered. "I threatened to kill that girl, I could have hurt her, and you're  _thanking me?_ "

Gwen sighed. "She's threatened to kill a lot of people anyways. I would have taken her to the police, but all of the witnesses are scared stiff and wouldn't speak against her. It was a bit much,  but she's terrorized people at school. It might be better to have her quiet."

Then, Gwen gave him a hug. It was a bit awkward because Noir only got hugged by Aunt May -- from the universe of Miles, his May was never a touchy touch person -- but it was nice and warm, and he sunk into it.

* * *

Roseanne was quite quiet at school, and she even gave Gwen her own apology that wasn't forced. She even made a few friendships that weren't fake.

She would go on to become a teacher, one of the best in New York, who didn't condemn or critize anyone. She gave them encouragement and a name to live up to. She would be one of the kindest people, and meet a equally kind man who worked at Starbucks, and have two little girls. She would name them Gwen and Julie, and she would be loved by many.

For now though, she's just a girl who is learning.

 


	4. Miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles has an art competition, but the ever hated artist's block has come to haunt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of my favorite noir headcanons: noir sketches a lot of birds
> 
> also I really wanted to have miles like, legally paint with his dad on the walls of/near the police station and they go buy their supplies at this adorable homey art supply store
> 
> also I think jeff would make miles read books that he thinks will help him in the future but they actually help with his crime fighting.
> 
> ps. Jefferson is an amazing dad and as cool as peter b is he can't replace jeff, he's the awkward mentor
> 
> pps. Ganke loves yahoo chocolate milk and you can't stop me

Miles sighed, flopping on his bed and tossing a ball of paper across the room, which didn't even make it to the over-flowing wastebasket. It was already being forced to contain two times its limit anyways.

He stared at his empty sheets, not a single idea coming to mind. His dad wanted him to enter a competition that would give the winner a blank wall to spray paint their idea on. It would be right next to the police station, and the theme was pretty much justice and liberty or something.

He sighed again as Ganke came in, almost falling over on the giant pile of paper balls. "Dude, you're murdering the trashcan." Miles groaned, "I know. I just have no idea what to do... I hate art block."

"Why don't you ask the edgy Spider?"

"Noir??"

Funny how he knew it was Noir instantly, but there was really nobody else who fit the description so well. Peter B was more depressed than edgy, and Peni and Gwen were teenagers, so edgy was just for a while. Provided they grow out of it. He hoped so.

"Yeah man," Ganke sipped on yet another box of Yahoo milk, "I see him doodling all the time while you guys are playing Dos or watching Break it Brad 2. Also, that one depressed Spider-Man might be crazy. He kept saying it was Wreck it Ralph."

"Yeah, his universe is weird. Wreck it Ralph doesn't sound too bad though. But  _Noir?_ I would expect him to be the least likely to draw. He's so dark and brooding."

Ganke tossed the Yahoo into the paper pile. "Seems pretty obvious to me. When your life goes to shambles and everything is so tainted, gotta have something to do before you go insane." Miles countered, "He's Spider-Man." To which Ganke replied dully, "Exactly. Being Spider-Man with all of those crimes must have been hell for him. And if he has the same luck as the average Peter Parker, his life must be shit."

He wasn't wrong there.

Miles took another stare at his notebook. "Fine, I'll ask. Only because my dad wants to see it in a few days to enter it in."

* * *

During a showing of memes from different universes (Peni had insane memes none of them ever heard of. Probably the future thing.) Miles noticed Noir was in the corner, flicking a gray pencil on an equally gray notebook.

"Hey Noir, whatcha doing?"

The man's head snapped up, the mask not allowing a show of emotions. He never took that thing off. Miles had never even seen the dude's  _face._

"Oh," he mumbled hesitantly, "just doodling."

"You draw?" Peni snapped up instantly, cutting off a conversation about the furry war with Ganke and Gwen. "I never knew that! I wanna see!" Everyone seemed interested now, and Noir looked like a cornered animal. Well, not really. Hard to tell with the mask. But the eyes did get slightly bigger. "It's nothing much-"

Miles remembered a book his dad made him read.  _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ , Dale Carnegie. Noir was already his friend, but he remembered a passage that said, "Give others sincere and honest appreciation." He could apply that here! Even better, the book was written in the Great Depression!

Noir finally showed them the notebook, and a collective gasp filled the room.

The sketches filling the page were of birds. The most realistic and amazing birds Miles had ever seen draw. Of course, he didn't look at a lot of bird drawings, but whatever. He was the first to speak. "Noir, this is actually one of the most amazing drawings I've ever seen." Thanks, Dale Carnegie. 

He stuttered, and Peni and Gwen both pointed at a particularly beautiful cockatiel. Peter B looked at them with a reminiscent look. "I loved drawing birds as a teenager." Noir didn't respond to that.

Ham pointed to an finch. "That looks like my neighbor!" Gwen snorted, disguising it with a cough, as Peni giggled.

Miles looked at an bald eagle in the corner holding an America flag. "This one's cool!" Suddenly, he had an idea. "Be right back. Thanks Noir!" Everyone looked slightly confused, but went back to the sketches.

* * *

A few days later, near the police station, there was a beautiful monochrome eagle, a full color American flag behind it, and the background assorted neon splatters. Miles showed it to Noir, who stood, gaping at it. They stood for about five minutes, when Miles questioned if Noir was alive.

Noir turned to him, joy in his voice. "It looks amazing, Miles."


	5. Peter B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone wants to meet the Spiders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back to I Have No Motivation
> 
> trans characters will be in the next chapter, along with self hate and panic attacks
> 
> bro this took me forever to update I am so so sorry and its short smh
> 
> if you haven't read the noir comics, in the second book one of peter's friends named robbie is a African American who gets experimented on by doc ock. Its pretty fucking dark and I want to make a separate story about it after I finish this one

"So," Peter B randomly mumbled during a dinner with the gang, "Me and MJ are dating now."

Miles, Gwen and Peni all whooped at the same time, Ham gave a cartoonish thumbs up in approval, and Noir  _almost_  smiled. Smiling was easier to come by with these people. "...and she wants to meet the people who changed me so much."

Everyone groaned, and Miles exclaimed, "You told her?!" Peter B defended, "No! I didn't! She said she could tell someone else made me different! I don't know, she's MJ, the most amazing person to ever exist! How should I know how she does her magic?"

Gwen fidgeted with her suit's hoodie. "I mean, it wouldn't be too bad, would it? I know a Mary Jane from my universe, the name of my band literally is the Mary Janes. She's a really good person. Headstrong, stubborn, kind, stubborn, honest. Did I say stubborn? She will get her way, and there's nothing we can do to stop her." Peter B sighed, confirming Gwen's statements.

"So," Miles groaned, "we have to meet her in your universe?"

Peter B nodded.

Noir knew a Mary Jane from his own world. She, too, was utterly stubborn in her own way. She was like a ray of light in his dark world. Her tousled hair and easygoing personality always boosted his mood a little. He was one of the few people who could make her laugh, and her laugh was as soft as cotton and warm as the sun.

"When are we gonna meet her?" Ham questioned.

"She said she's open tomorrow, if you guys don't mind." Nobody seemed to have any other plans, so they slept, dreaming little spider dreams (or nightmares.)

The next morning, all of them went to a small little diner that Noir kind of recognized. There was one like it in his world. However, he stopped at the door.

After what happened with Robbie in his world, he was hesitant to see her face again. How sad she had looked when he told her things weren't going to get better, how crestfallen. Peni noticed Noir stop near the door as the others looked for MJ. "Hey," she mumbled, "you okay?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm scared."

"I'm here."

That did make Noir feel a bit better, so the two followed the group. The man at the cashier barely looked up, seemingly not caring about the multiple spider people walking into the diner.

MJ was sitting at a far booth, sipping on an strawberry smoothie. Peter B sat next to her and she kissed him (Gwen fake gagged) and Miles and Gwen joined him. The other side consisted of Noir, Ham and Peni in the middle. The moment MJ saw Gwen, her face fell a little, and it reminded Noir too much of her from his world.

They all introduced each other, and she only seemed slightly taken aback by all the Parkers, and a waitress came by to take their order. Her green eyes glazed over in confusion at the couple, three kids, a guy in a black Spider-Man suit, and a pig, but she tried not to notice too much.

The atmosphere relaxed as they carried on conversations about their own worlds, MJ sharing embarrassing stories about Peter B and Miles, Gwen, Peni and Ham cracking jokes.

MJ finally turned to Noir. "So, you're a Peter too. Am I in your universe?"

Noir tried not to panic at the question. Calmly, he replied, "Yes. You are."

"What am I like?"

Oh boy. "You're optimistic, and very stubborn, you always want to help. You always say things are going to get better, even when they won't. You don't want me to blame myself for my own mistakes. You're a good person. That's hard to come across in my universe."

MJ thought about that for a while, before she seemed satisfied. The conversation continued, and Noir put in little comments about things and it was honestly pretty fun.

Back in the universe of Miles, Noir exhaled in relief. That was a very painful time. Peter B went up to him. "Hey man, thanks for coming. I can tell that you didn't want to, and I don't know your relationship with your MJ, but I really appreciate it." Noir simply nodded.

"Anything for a friend."


	6. Noir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth 1 has a pride parade in New York City. The Spiders go.
> 
> It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN FOREVER
> 
> its pride month so if I didn't update it I would feel weird
> 
> oh boy oh boy. get ready for big, BIG homophobia and all that shit
> 
> the homophobia stems from all of the attacks that have been happening this month. Our earth (earth 1) sucks. There are slurs and stuff too so be careful
> 
> hope you enjoy sucking out the angst in this chapter
> 
> noir 👏 is 👏 a 👏 lesbian 👏 protector
> 
> There's gonna be an epilogue hence the 7th chapter
> 
> I really hope you like this chapter!! I've been so excited to write about it

All of the Spiders were sitting on the roof of a random building, with a strong breeze blowing by as they overlooked the twinkling lights of the city. Noir felt a small pang of jealously as he stared at the beautiful scene. His world looked nothing like this. It was so hopeless and dreary.

They were exchanging small talk, and Miles and Peni were talking about a parade or something. He wasn't paying too much attention, and he sighed as he overlooked New York that was painfully not his. However, his train of hateful thoughts was interrupted by Miles coughing loudly. "Hey, guys."

"Would you all want to go to a pride parade?" Gwen blatantly explained.

"Wow Gwen," Miles snorted, "real subtle of you." Gwen replied by softly punching his arm.

"You guys know I'm, well, you know, and I never go to any in my world. I heard there are nice ones on Earth 1 from Peni and I don't want to miss out on another one." Gwen continued.

Everyone else seemed to be nodding and cheering, but Noir was simply confused. He didn't know Gwen was whatever she was implying, and he had no idea what a pride parade was. So he simply replied, "yeah, ok," in a soft undertone.

Unfortunately, Peter B heard, and nudged Gwen. He whispered to her, "You haven't told Noir." There was no point in whispering due to him being able to hear more extensively than a human, but he didn't care.

Gwen quickly darted her eyes from Noir and away, and hissed back, "Do we have to tell him?? He might be mad."

"I'm not going to be mad. I just want to know what it is," Noir dully said. The two didn't seem too surprised he overheard, but still looked uneasy.

Gwen cleared her throat. "You see, Noir, nowadays people can do more things. Men can love men and women can love women. And... people can change their genders. Those people who transition from one gender to another are called transgender, and I am one. They celebrate how they are in parades every June."

Noir blankly stared at her for a few minutes. You couldn't tell from the mask, but he was absolutely dumbfounded. Those thing were  _allowed?_ They weren't threatened by police or ridiculed by people on the streets, who threw rocks at them and beat them and set them on fire? Was his world really this shitty? He had a sudden flashback to the man he saw on the street as a child, crying as the mob pelted him with fruit and rocks as Noir watched and his Aunt May grabbed his hand tightly and walked faster.

Finally, he gulped and replied, "That's great, Gwen. I'm glad these things are allowed."

Everyone smiled and gave him thumbs up for the good reactions. It made him sick seeing that. How did they expect for him to react? Did they think he would be trying to murder them all for condoning such things? His Aunt May literally protested discrimination against these people in the streets as others booed her. Was his world truly that sick?

"The parade is today in Earth 1, and it'll be ending soon, so we have to go!" Peni exclaimed, opening a portal, and they all jumped in, Noir a little hesitantly.

* * *

They arrived on a nearly similar rooftop to the one they were standing on earlier, except it was day and the buildings were much less colorful. Day would be over soon, and the sun was already three quarters through the sky. There was a stream of colors in the streets. It was the most colors Noir had ever seen, and he squinted a little due to the eye strain.

It was beautiful.

Peni went through her backpack. "All of us look okay except Noir and Ham, you two look a little suspicious." She threw Noir a (pink, he thought. It was pink. He remembered that color) shirt that, in more colors, exclaimed "gay rights!"

"Ham, you gotta go in the bag," Peni said, and stuffed the pig in, ignoring the stream of curses that came out.

Noir put on the shirt, and Peni examined him. "I guess you could pass for a Spiderman cosplay. This is the base Earth, so we're most likely fictional characters or something here.

Noir didn't even want to ask what that meant.

They leapt down to the alleyway and went into the crowd. There were stands selling shirts, wristbands and flags, all adorned in different colors. Two women in matching pink, purple and blue shirts (he was pleased to know all those colors) tapped his shoulder, and one woman said, "We love your cosplay!"

So that worked out, he thought.

Overall, the day was amazing. Noir learned new colors (there were so many shades of pink) and new terms for sexualities. It was so nice to see everyone smiling in one area, which is something Noir never usually got to see in his own world. The group went around and ate assorted foods he had never even  _heard_ of, and watched the parade as people rode multi-colored floats. 

It eventually ended, but Noir didn't want to leave, so they went on a train to the main city. However, people's faces started to fall, and they started to put their shirts and flags away, and rubbed the face paint off of their sullen faces.

One little boy saw Gwen's blue, pink and white pin, and asked if she had any wipes so he could wipe the rainbows off of his face. She quickly assisted the boy who thanked her gratefully. When he got off, she smiled sadly and said, "Be careful out there, Kyle."

There were two teenagers, one with short blond hair and one with long black hair, who had too much apparel on to take off, and they quietly whispered about getting attacked when they got home. Noir overheard this, cleared his throat and awkwardly looked at them when they turned around.

"We could walk you two home, if you want."

They looked at each other and nodded silently. Their eyes were filled with grateful tears and they were so horribly sad looking.

Miles, Peter B, Gwen and Peni were very concerned about this Earth. These things never happened in their Earths, they whispered together. However, this seemed a lot like Noir's own universe. Ham was sleeping in the backpack for most of the day, only coming out to eat hot dogs.

The two girls got off with the group, and they all silently walked to their houses. However, they saw a group of boys up ahead, and the two looked very worried, but continued walking.

They tried not to look the the boys, who were obviously drunk, but one of them noticed the poor girls.

"Hey Katie, Christine," the boy slurred, "or should I say Christian?"

"That's not my name, Patrick, and you know it." the blonde girl coldly replied.

"Leave her alone," the black hair girl added.

"I see you two got yourself some bodyguards," Patrick continued, ignoring their obvious pleads for him to go away, and the rest of the boys came over. "Too bad they don't know that you two are fucking freaks."

This made Gwen absolutely snap, and she punched the nearest boy in the nose.

It quickly escalated into a full-blown fight, and Patrick went to strike the girls, but Noir caught his fist and twisted.

"Fuck! What the hell is wrong with you man?" Then, Patrick looked up to see his shirt, and read the words "gay rights!" He sneered. "I should have known you were also a faggot."

There was a moment of silence between Noir, Patrick, Christine and Katie, who were the only people who heard.

Suddenly, Noir twisted more, earning a yelp of pain. He let go of Patrick's fist only to kick him in the crotch, and then hit his knees hard enough to make him fall to the ground. He pulled out his gun and put it up to Patrick's head. The two girls gasped, and Patrick pleaded for his life. This didn't register to Noir, and he was about to pull the trigger until a string of webbing covered the gun.

Frustrated, he looked up, only to see Peter B with his arm extended towards the gun, and the loose string came from his web shooter. Everyone had stopped fighting, and were now staring at him. Miles and Gwen had their mouths open, and Ham, who was hammering a dude into the ground looked horrified. Peter B just looked disappointed.

Perhaps Peni was the worst reaction, with her face being a mix of that anime styled horror and a plain look of disgust. She was disgusted.

In him.

He looked at his gun and took the webbing off, and silently placed it in its holder. "M sorry."

Reluctantly, everyone went back to the fight, and the two girls were stand a little further off.

"You two should go," Noir mumbled, and without a care of who saw, he shot a web into a tree, and flung off. However, Katie and Christine stayed behind. When they were all finished, they thanked them, but Katie added, "Your friend left. I think he feels really bad about it."

"Where did he go?" Peter B asked.

"Into those trees," Christine pointed.

"You guys won't tell anyone, right?" Miles asked.

"Oh, no way!" Katie gushed. "We love Marvel, I can't believe you guys are real and joined this stupid Earth! I hope you liked the parade. Thank you guys!" with that, the two ran off to a nearby house, and the group of spiders slung off.

* * *

Noir had no way of finding his way through this place. It was dull during the day, but it had exceptionally bright lights at night, and it screwed up his vision. He finally rested on a very, very high rooftop that was higher even than the building in the other spider's worlds, except maybe Ham's, since the buildings there were very tall for comedic purposes.

He then lifted up his mask halfway and choked out a sob. Oh god, he just tried to murder a kid, he was a horrible person. He should just kill himself now so he wouldn't hurt anyone else.

He peered off the edge of the building. He saw his friends come out of the housing area and look on building rooftops and the alleys, but they probably wouldn't find him here. Unless...

Quickly, Noir stomped on his goober watch, just so that Peni couldn't track him. As soon as he did, he heard a cry of anger. He looked to see Peni staring at a black screen, hitting it as if that would make it work. It made his heart ache to see her. Unfortunately, the moment he retreated to the middle of the tall rooftop, he glitched and fell to the ground.

His own stupid thinking would just kill him. That was kind of what he wanted. That watch was the only thing stabilizing him here. Now, because of what he did, he would die in the scene of his crime, just as he deserved.

One might argue he didn't kill the child. But he tried. In his mind, if Peter B didn't notice him, that boy's brain would have been blown out on that lawn.

He glitched again and grunted in pain as he slumped to the edge of the rooftop, held securely by the foot tall fencing around the edges which cast him in shadow. He was going to die here. He could feel something bleeding. It was probably the atoms that were separating, but rearranged incorrectly. Something like that.

The black substance pooled around that corner, just barely peeking out of the shadows. It was sad, Noir thought, that he would die in a world of colors but be left colorless. Maybe that wad an added punishment.

He heard a thump nearby, and his spider sense went off.  **Friend.**

Someone had found him. He didn't move a muscle and stopped breathing, and SP//dr made its way to the rooftop. "I smell blood on this rooftop, someone might be here," Peni mumbled, and SP//dr robotically replied, "Heat signature found."

Goddamnit, he thought, guess I gotta do this the hard way. Quickly, he hauled himself up and jumped off the roof, preparing to websling away. However, he glitched at that moment. He found himself free falling, and had one last thought.

_This isn't so bad._

Crack.

 

 


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you will remember  
> when this is blown over  
> everything's all by the way  
> when I grow older  
> I will be there at your side to remind you  
> how I still love you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun.
> 
> Summary lyrics ; "Love of My Life" / Queen

It was pitch black.

It wasn't an unfamiliar color to Noir, but it sure as hell wasn't welcoming. He was pretty sure he was dead at this point, and it hurt him to know that this darkness was going to be the last thing he would ever see.

Why did it hurt so much? Wasn't he already dead?

Noir drowsily opened his eyes, only to be resting on bright webs in a seemingly endless galaxy. The webs extended as far as his vision would see them.

**Hello, Peter Benjamin Parker.**

That voice.

It was that Thing.

Noir slowly turned to see a horrifying, freakish spider-like entity, peering its many eyes at him, making him feel smaller. It was the Spider-God. Also not a welcoming sight.

**I am sorry to disrupt your descent into the afterlife, however, I refuse to let you die so suddenly. If only that young, foolish man hadn't tried to save you, I wouldn't have to intervene.**

"Are you talking about Miles?"

**That does seem to be his name. He is but an amateur, and pulled a mistake that one of your friends has already done. He attempted to catch you with his webs, but broke your back entirely. He blames himself, but it was a truly comical sound.**

Noir clenched his fists. How dare this being make fun of Miles, who didn't know any better? Or make fun of him dying and what sounds he made?

**The girl also blames herself for not stopping you.**

It didn't take further explanation for Noir to know it was Peni, and he felt horrible for the two. They had no reason to blame themselves, it was entirely his fault.

"What do you want in return?" Noir asked. In all of his time being on Earth, Noir found most things had a catch. There were always strings attached, and it was just how life worked.

**I have already been paid in your foolishness to attempt to murder a child. I've been trying to make you do evil deeds for months now, and this is progress, which I'll take.**

This didn't make Noir feel any better about himself or the pain he was causing his friends, but he would resolve it later. "Fine. Can I go now?"

**Peter Benjamin Parker, you are a fool.**

"Reverse uno card."

**Stop learning those cursed phrases from those damned teenagers!**

"No, I don't think I will."

The Spider-God made an agitated sound, and Noir's vision turned to a blinding white.

* * *

Noir sprung up from the bed very suddenly, which earned a lot of screaming. Then, his friends stared at him, finally engulfing him in a large group hug. His still present wounds shot up in pain, but he didn't care. He was surrounded by his friends, and that was ok.

He could get used to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short!!! But it's just an epilogue so idk man!!! I really hope you enjoyed this, and don't worry, I'm gonna make a new multi chapter noir centric fanfic, and it'll have l o t s o f a n g s t :)
> 
> bye thanks for reading 💕💫

**Author's Note:**

> comments give me validation for my sins


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